There is something strangely revealing about eating with someone for the first time.
I have had first meals with dates, new colleagues, and friends of friends where I spent more time thinking about how I was coming across than actually enjoying my food.
Should I order first? Is this too expensive? Should I suggest sharing? Is it rude to stare at the menu for too long? And why does the waiter always seem to arrive precisely when I am still pretending to have made up my mind?
There was this one date that came to mind. I was trying very hard to appear relaxed. I ordered something I thought sounded sophisticated, only to realise I had no idea how to eat it without making a mess. I spent the next few minutes trying to look completely normal while quietly figuring out what to do.
I think first meals are funny in general because everyone is trying to show the best version of themselves at the same time.
A new colleague might suddenly become more careful about what they say. A first date might involve pretending not to be nervous. Meeting a friend’s friends can have you laughing slightly harder than usual because you are still working out where you fit into the group.
But, I have noticed that we reveal more than we think during these meals. How quickly we decide. Whether we share our food. How we treat the staff. What we complain about. Whether we spend the entire meal checking our phones.
Sometimes, the awkwardness is actually useful.
Once the food arrives and the conversation starts moving, the careful version of ourselves becomes harder to maintain. Someone says something ridiculous. Someone spills a drink. Someone admits they have no idea what they ordered.
And suddenly, everyone relaxes.
I have found that the best first meals are rarely the perfectly polished ones. They are the ones where everyone eventually stops trying so hard.
That is usually when I start feeling like I am actually getting to know the person sitting across from me.
And if you’re looking for somewhere new to eat with someone, there are always more places and neighbourhood finds to discover here, especially when you are not quite sure where the next meal will take you.
